Whenever I go to the doctor, I’m asked, “do you feel safe at home?” It makes me feel old. They must think my wife is a bully who beats me up. One of my good friends was recently in the hospital and came very close to death. It took days for doctors to diagnose a ruptured appendix and he kept getting sicker by the day. Thankfully God restored his health. We laughed when he told me that during his rehab, every day someone came in and asked him a long list of questions including, “do you feel safe at home?”
I laugh when the nurse asks me, but a lot of times this isn’t a laughing matter. If you’re a kid or a woman who doesn’t feel safe at home, tell someone. It’s so wrong for people to not feel safe. Abuse is often the result of drugs, alcohol, physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. Often times it’s bullying. Whatever the cause, find someone in a position of authority and tell them. A minister, priest, rabbi, youth leader or teacher. Go to a trusted friend or family member. Find someone who will walk with you and help get you through this.
If you’re a bully, you have a pretty twisted view of yourself. You aren’t more special than the person you are trampling on. For some reason, you find it easier to bully than to deal with your own problems and feelings. You’re probably an overly critical, negative person. Maybe you’re being picked on at home by a parent or a sibling and want to take out your anger on someone else. The experts say you could have some type of learning disability that limits your ability to develop social skills. You only get along with people you can control.
Does it make you feel important when you put someone down? Saying hurtful things to others is much easier than learning to get along. When uncomfortable or embarrassed, you lash out. If you don’t get your way, watch out. When feeling afraid, you throw stuff, shout, break things and become aggressive. This gives you a sense of power and control that you crave. I’m sorry if you are treated this way. And I’m sad you feel the need to treat others the same way. Please stop it!
If you are the one being bullied, stay away from that person (or group). Don’t let them see you react. This gives them the gratification they are looking for. I’d like to tell you to beat the crap out of them. But my wife wouldn’t like that advice so I will simply say, look the bully in the eye and tell them to leave you alone. Avoid physical confrontation but if at all possible, stand up to them. Let them see your inner strength. This is about them and their inadequacies. It is NOT about you.
Whatever you do, tell somebody about the incidents. You need to make this known. You are not a doormat and you are too valuable an individual to be abused.