What if?

Money did grow on trees.

We knew when we’d die.

You loved your job.

There were consequences for bad behavior.

The good guys always won.

Texting was done by talking and not typing.

Politicians worked together instead of hating each other.

Your car always started.

God had sent the cure for cancer, and we’d aborted it.

You approved of your child’s friends.

There was no internet.

Television was free.

Bottled water only costs a nickel.

“X” didn’t mark the spot.

There were no wars.

Liver tasted like chicken.

Homeless people weren’t.

People understood that death isn’t the end.

Politicians did what their constituents elected them to do.

A person’s nose grew when they told a lie.

Humpty Dumpty had been hard-boiled.

My yard didn’t have any weeds.

People didn’t drive drunk.

We didn’t believe everything we read.

Economy class had more legroom.

We didn’t need to empty our pockets at the airport.

Serving sizes weren’t getting smaller, and prices were getting larger.

The grass is browner on the other side.

Gas still costs 30 cents a gallon.

You could hold a bitcoin.

Mosquitoes didn’t bite.

Ctrl-Alt-Del always worked.

Rap music was banned.

People believed in absolutes.

Snakes were required to wear a bell around their neck so you always knew where they were.

Milk never went bad.

Neither did fresh fruit.

Friends were friends forever.

Election fraud didn’t exist.

Your electric vehicle could travel 500 miles without a recharge.

Scientists knew the Big Bang was a fairy tale.

Everyone believed “In The Beginning, God created…”

©2025 – Jeff Lossau